Monday, May 31, 2004

In approximately 3 1/2 days I'm going on a five state road trip with my family. From Santa Fe we'll drive to Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah and Colorado before returning to humble little New Mexico. But do not fret fans of Emma, I'll only be gone a week (oh god a whole week!) But then it is off to Nevada yet again for color guard camp at the UNLV campus. So in June I'll be gone for two whole weeks, from the 4th to the 12th and then from the 20th to the 26th. Both trips are by car but only one has my sister (but the other has Anders, Brice and Oliver so it's a even trade off.) It should be ok though, I mean how could Sea World, the beach and Vegas (twice in a month) not be? Just make sure that you pray for me!

(I changed the description as I will do occasionally so make sure you take a look!)

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

IT'S OVER! The 2003-2004 school year is officially over and the seniors are cut free as of 7:30 tonight. As for me, 2 years down and only 2 more to go. I suppose that I am officially a junior as of yesterday when I finished my last final. But in all actuality this year has been the best so far. This year I joined guard and took home 2 hard earned first place awards and one that was given to us(Sweep stakes in EP baby!)I met new people and made close friends while still managing to keep my old ones. I discovered new passions and gained a substantial amount of confidence from both guard and my new buddies. I did things that I've never done before because, until this year, I didn't have the opportunity or the means to do so. I went on three trips last year, two for Key Club and one for band. I became part of a group that accepted me for who I was. I stayed in Eldorado a lot but still had the time of my life. I found out who I am and who I want to be and I even fell in love. Yes, this year has been the best so far even with all of it's pit falls. So here's to 2 more years. I hope that they can find a way to top this one.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

I would like to make a public apology. I want to say I'm sorry.
I sorry to every one about everything. I'm a bitch and I know that, no surprise! I am mean and evil and I wanna say I'm sorry to everyone about that. I sorry about talking about you behind your back, I'm sorry about talking about you right to your face. I'm sorry for all the yelling that I do. I sorry for always being sarcastic and unreal. I sorry for always telling people to "suck it!"
"shut up!", "shut the hell up!"
And "F*** you bitiach!"
I'm sorry for all the crap I talk. I'm sorry for what a bad daughter I am. I'm sorry for what a worse sister I am. And I'm the most sorry for what a crappy friend I am to everyone.
I'm sorry Emily
I'm sorry Zoe
I'm sorry Nick
I'm sorry Megan
I'm sorry Lena
I'm sorry Erin
I'm sorry Mom
I'm sorry Daddy
I'm sorry Elizabeth
but most of all I'm sorry Tom.
I've been a bad and mean person to all of you and every one else in my life and I'm sorry.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

I've got it!
I've got everything I've always wanted.
But never knew I did.
I'm free and happy and liberated.
Can I give that all up?
Is what I strive for even worth having?
Gained, lost, and found again.
With a reputation like that can it be good for me?
When I have it all I do is cry.
But when I don't I cry even harder.
I hate this!
I can't stand the choice.
Yes or no.
Right or wrong.
Or even not at all.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

I am mad! That is all that's wrong with me. I'm pissed off and I can't really tell you why. But I do know that today everyone made my angry. I thought I was going to have to lunge across the table at dinner and stab my fork into the top of someone's head. But it's not only my family (my family is actually being really nice they just had to deal with the aftermath of my day)it's everyone. It's school, it's guard, it's friends it's life! I am mad. There is nothing I love more then when someone asks me "what's wrong?" Some times I fell like telling them, "do you really want me to tell you? Do you really care? If you get me started I'll never stop! And no one wants that because I'll either have to A. kill someone or B. burst into tears." hopefully it was just a crappy day and tomorrow will be better. But, huh, I can't even think about tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day but it's filled with the same people.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Give all to love:
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good fame,
Plans, credit, and the Muse,
Nothing refuse.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson, Give All to Love

Thursday, May 06, 2004

I just finished watching the last episode of friends and I'm sorry but if you didn't see it I don't know if I can talk to you! So like any loser I was totally obsessed with see it. I came home and thought "oh oh only three more hours until friends!" So I watched it and it was super great. And keeping up with final episode tradition I cried and cried. Like when it was doctor Green's last episode on ER I balled like none other, and so while watching Friends I was just so upset and started crying. I know it's not about real people and I know that it's all just a bunch of actors playing the roles of these people but man... I was sad to see them go. I mean I've watched this show for 10 years. Do you have any idea how long that is? I was six when I first saw that show. Wow that is a really long time. I remember watching it with my mom back when it was still good. I didn't even like Friends for the longest time and then I fell into re-runs and the rest is history!But oh, that was such a good last episode. I know it's corny that Rachel came back and I knew that it was going to be a happy ending but wow. I'm gonna miss the new friends and I'm not going to watch Joey (really I hope it doesn't do all that well) but it should be ok because between TBS and KASA on a good day you get watch up to 12 hours of Friends in a row. It's an end of an era, and it's gonna be hard saying good bye to my friends.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Lats night I made the comment that I don't need to sleep or eat I just run, I don't know, water and TV or something. But today I know that i was very very wronge. I am so very tired and so very hungry. The week in all hasn't been too bad but it hasn't been super good either. For some reason my dad is in a yelling mood and for the past couple of days I've just been sitting there and taking it. You can't tell him anything because his head is about as thick as a slab of cement and just as hard. We had guard tryouts last night and that sure was interesting to say the least. There was this one girl that came in a black dress that was very low cut. While trying to do the dances she almost fell out of that thing about 7 or 8 times. Needless to say she didn't make it. We had 2 twist something and fall down and the rest had to deal with Anders bitchiness. The guard and my self are used to his teaching style by now and I know how he gets, "do it fast or don't do it at all BITCH!" And like my father you can't tell him anything (unlike my father who danced around with a ribbon and pranced like no one should be able to) Lena was trying to give instruction and he turns around and very cady like he says, "thank you Isadore Duncun!" After that I told the guard to not say anything when he was teaching so no one had to get their eyes scrached out by this pink whistle weilding maniac. I do understand that it's stressful to do anything with 16 newbies, 5 vets that don't listen, and Mr.O who just tells nasty jokes, but christ on a cracker Anders take a chill pill. If you think that he gets crazy durring rehersals (no matter if it guard or choir) you should see him at contest. AHHHHH RUN AWAY FROM THE GAY MAN! How are we going to last a week in Vegas with him? He's fun but if you try to correct him the only thing he says is, "And who is it that graudated form Julliard? Me that's right" HUH like I said a whole lot of complaining. I haven't written in a long time and the frist thing I do is start complaining. I can tell you one thing that i'm not complianing about the weekend is in 3 days and school is over in 12 days! And I am really excited about this weekend espically saturday!
~Emma P.S please forgive my spelling.

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